When Does The Honeymoon End?

I’ve been wondering about this lately. After my third week on the road I thought that maybe my enthusiasm would have waned a bit, that the proverbial “reality” would have set in. I expected this even though I tried to prepare myself for the “realties” of long-term RVing, to protect myself from creating an expectation that was more fantasy than real life.

I read and watched variations of “The Realities of RV Living.” I listened to similar, softer messages from family and friends. I had discussions with my therapist. I felt the fear that my parents gracefully and gently tried to convey yet conceal. I adopted them all and tried them on for size. And I realized that what I was telling myself was, “Brace yourself for some bad shit. The reality is rife with disappointments.”

But here I am, still as excited now as I was in the beginning. Anywhere, in any situation, there will be challenges. Some times will feel easier than others. But there will also be joy. I’m glad I’ve been balanced enough to feel the joy, too. So far, this trip has been about as disappointing and as gratifying as anything else, only I’m getting to see some really cool places in the process.

I think the key is acceptance. In one of his books, Eckhart Tolle describes a monk who discloses this as his secret to inner peace (or something like that). He says, “I don’t mind what happens.” This sounds very noble and makes a lot of sense, but of course I DO mind what happens sometimes. When I do, I really try to feel it. Why do I mind, how do I mind, and what does it all feel like in my body? For me, if I can really, fully feel it, then I can usually get to the point of accepting what is and for what it is.

And then the honeymoon ended. Kind of. There came another gray, rainy day and it found us searching yet again for an open RV camping spot in Yellowstone. The nearest ones were 60 to 100 miles from where we entered the park, so we decided to drive. We stopped to watch Old Faithful erupt in all its white, frothy glory in front of a white, frothy sky. I found myself imagining what it would look like in front of a brilliant blue backdrop instead of cloud cover. We drove by the Grand Prismatic Spring and there were no parking spots, at least not for our RV.   We talked about how much better the park experience would be in a car. We fantasized about how great everything would be if everything were different. We debated driving further across the park to check campground openings but ultimately we just drove on, right out of the park. Sometimes you’re just not feeling it. We found a little campground between West Yellowstone and Missoula, and stayed there for a couple of nights to regroup and enjoy full hook-ups, excellent WiFi, laundry facilities, and a playground with other kids who thoroughly delighted my son.

And I found my way again. I could enjoy the present moment—rain or shine—and take it for what it is. It’s the same kind of “time out” I sometimes needed in my stationary life. I don’t feel disappointed with my Yellowstone experience or like I missed out. If I feel called to return and really spend some time there in the future, I will. This week it just wasn’t in the cards.

So is the honeymoon over? No! There was never a marriage in the first place.